I started watching the FX series Baskets tonight. I saw a billboard for it a long time ago but kept forgetting what it was until I heard an inteview about on NPR. that show is awesome very Bukowski-esque. and as I started watching it I realized my life is fucked up perfectly, not perfectly fucked-up, but fucked up perfectly. I think it was the scene where Baskets the clown just got a job at a rodeo and was laying in the dirt after getting hit by a bull. He was just laying there on the ground smoking a cigarette staring up in the sky and a single tear ran down his face. god that summed up a lot in my life. then when he crashes his scooter and he has to get around by roller blading everywhere (whilst smoking). so completely awesome. and so my life is very much like this in so many different ways.
for example like going to walmart last night and buying a new set of dishes. I've never in my life ever purchased dishes. ever. I've only ever used tupperware or paper plates. but for some reason last night I felt enough was enough. I was going to start living my life with dishes. so I found a enormous box that contained all the plates, bowls and cups. it was 34.99 for the set of 6 place settings. so I went to the checkout and realized I didn't have enough money to pay for this new magnifienct purchase of dishware, so I put it on my credit card. and on the ride home I'm thinking what a total failure I am in life, that at age 43 I have for the 1st time in my life purchased a box of dishware at walmart on a Saturday night and couldn't even afford it. god there is something beautiful about that...I have no idea what "that" is but I'm sure it's there somewhere. But after watching Baskets tonight I now understand that my lieft is fucked up perfectly.
