JoyLights {poem}

JoyLights

sacklock and tempered the reflection
forward they run
arms frightfully
rumpled
rinsing their buckets with
praire-bleach

should she call out the name
that will burn the sky?

we surrender our strength
with balled up hands.
warm
bleach cascading
over our shoulders

the memory of
a moth for which struggled
to dry its own wings in our rain

armies clumping near the
nothern borders
so that the passage
shall not be sought
and the millions
traveling North with only
shackles and a mask
need not look up into the amber fog
they too
have the negligent acid
fumbling down thier arms

but whispers have
a way of transcending
into fists
as do eyes in their way
of deconstructing
the soft material of breath.

I have never seen
you before
but I have felt
the distance you have left behind
the surface tension of the water
has been restored

I am tired of believing in you
but I am bored
and have nothing better to do.

And thats when it hurts
because the water is no
different within your mouth
or mine.

The Distant Jaw {poem}

The Distant Jaw

mascara whispers
between the small spaces
in your mouth.
I will not let you
out
I will not let you run
back into the
forest.

because when you said
you
were an angel
the flashlights were immediately
pointed down to the ground

we understand how the
lights
hurt your eyes

we knew to immediately
operate on an
encrypted channel
and run our
external communications
through
an international mud-switch.

we gave you your distance
although
we crowded you in a circle
I told them
to put their
weapons down.
They did so.

I knew, the others did not,
to avoid looking
you directly in the eyes.
it was information I was obligated
to share,
but chose not to.
they have never encountered
an ETB before.

within 14 seconds
I saw wisps of heat
drape from
your mouth. they rose into high
cast foliage, burning the leaves
as they gathered light
and floated back home.

you taught me
how to smoke
in the rain.

wearing a silk
smock and
I have laced my boots
all the way
up my thighs.

I taste the motors
of your
pray-things
following you closer
making your
teeth
straight
and your scars become mine.

immutable dystopia,
I want to go back to
California with you
drive around Sunset with
the top down
singing among the wretched humility
of my permanence
so you can see what we've become.

lost is heaven
within your heart,
faith sudden in
the morning bloom of desert blythe.
take this door
upon its open
allowing the light
back in.
so to, fill our Ghost
from crater steam
with your ephemeral heart.

we are the falling water
into the repository
swollen
of quick moving clouds
and
lightless light,
for what dreams dance
if our
children cannot laugh
in the
cadence of God.

Blyth Never Said That {poem}

Blyth Never Said That

the fitting room was too small
I had tried on 7 dresses
none of them
were working.
I left target, leaving my starbucks half empty on the dressing room floor
and so what I thought
banging through the exit of the store

sitting on the curb of the parking lot
I applied another coat of nailpolish
my uber driver said he couldn't find me
and left

it was going to be dark soon and target
security kept asking me questions
about the dressing room
"no, I don't know why the dresses in the changing room are all torn up"
"no, I didn't throw coffee over all the walls"
"no I don't think that's a puddle of blood in the corner"

it was time to go, they'd figure it out soon enough
I made my way across the street to
an auto repair shop.
and somehow managed to startup
old orange van with a for sale sign in the windsheild

more glitter and nail polish at
the intersection of jefferson & venice

I haven't responded to her text in over 36 hours
the cops will be
looking for me soon
the orange van has a bed
and a sink
I pull over near the salton sea
to drink water from the
little sink. I curl my toes
against the shag carpet and dance to music on
pandora

Cornelius said there was
enough mescaline left over at the Library
I arrived to late and didn't want to
wake her
the mescaline was in a wine bottle with
a post it attached that read "DRINK ME"
I did

and passed out in the back of the
orange van
the pink stars threatened eternity
in the aqua sky
I wrote a poem on my
bicep with yellow marker
and shaved my head with the side
of a broken bottle

tomorrow
at the dollar tree I'll pick up
top ramen, colored ballons and a few
cans of 50c beer.

~ echo.syszygy

Tildy Found The Blue Light {poem}

Tildy Found The Blue Light


Tonight another bird sky, orange blue
wooden twitch plaque
concrete steps
blue lake and a peach tree
what difference does it make if
the
instructions have been made to run backwards


what steps pressed
have been laid
by those
who no longer walk

shadows on sale 1/2 off
and all the monsters running through the aisles
clapping
stomping until all the shadows are sold

they hang them from buildings
they hide them near the
edge of town
like puddles the monsters clomp
through their shadows
like the most unimportant kings before
tiny battles near the
edge of the roaming gardens

that spin prince is dancing sideways
in the subway terminal
his wings scraping the ceiling dusted in black
and some might think
he is the angel of darkness
how he laughs while he dances

mondo-fly
with pink blood on her chin
water swords have been taken from the delicate membrane of lyon
he won't tell; just be back before the
vain-gels wake

but for now
in this very moment
the spin prince
dances and laughs
on the white tiles and iron tracks
near the German subway

at night in the forest with love

crack in the ventrillica

tracing my blogspot roots

Well, I think I found my earliest blog from back in 2004. I've been hunting down the ones in between. I think this is all of them:

http://jrs1972.blogspot.com/ 12/31/20015 -> current
http://thezenfulbohemian.blogspot.com/  7/3/2007 -> 3/29/20015
http://pinkduckorangelips.blogspot.com/ 1/19/2007 -> 5/31/2015
https://jrs72.blogspot.com/ 3/1/2004 -> 3/2/2004

spending the night with coffee & peaches & the b-52s

Friday night - I'm listening to Peaches. The rain has stopped and everything is green. It's strange to see a different color other than grey in L.A. It's a nice change. I stopped off and got an Americano from Coffee Bean on my home from work.

Last week I met with a few people from my old work to go to happy hour. I've been at my new job for 4 months now and they are still wanting to hang out once in a while which I think is really cool because I've never stayed in touch with anybody from my previous jobs. They to meet at a bar in Beverly Hills, which I agreed to go too because I felt like doing something totally different. I really don't drink and try to avoid places of wealth at all costs, but I wanted to say hi to everyone so I headed down Wilshire to Beverly Hills. I met everyone infront of the bar and Dan put our name in to get a table, but the wait was 45 minutes so we headed down to Subway and all got sandwhiches. I got to hear about all the news .... oh god trying to write this blog is so boring...honeslty... .god, I seriously can't figure out how to write these goddam things. I've been reading this guys's blog called "incidents and happy accidents" and I am so into his blog! all he really talks about is sleeping too much and riding his bike to the laundry mat and it is so interestint!! I swear to god, it's absolutely fascinating and I'm like 'oh hell I can do that' so I run home and try to make a super awesome post like that guy and I start talking about work and beverly hills - YUCK!!!!

but honestly, this guy is completely captivating and inspired me to start on my blog again. so I'm just going to babble about whatever and not try to be coherent - let's just see how that goes

now I'm listening to old B-52s, from their self-tiled album 'The B-52s' from 1979. such an amazing album! I listened to them when they were big in the late 80s with Rock Lobster, but I was 10 at the time and totally wasn't into music or understood what that was all about yet. I really love 'Dance This Mess Around' is one of my favorite songs.

I've started reading again, kinda by accident - I reached up to get something off my bookshelf a few days ago and knocked over an old book. I picked it up and remembered how much I loved that book and put it back on the shelf, but I was like 'well, why not read it again?' which goes against my golden rule of never re-reading a book I've loved because I'm afraid I won't enjoy it again and lose that magical feeling when I 1st read it. it's kind of like dating a past girlfriend again only to realize she is absolutely crazy and has terrible breath. anyway, I started reading it again and am totally in love again. the book is a collection of short stories about a guy who is either waiting for the bus / on the bus / or just got off the bus. it's titled 'Stop Requested' by Wyatt Doyle. There are a bunch of lo-fi illustrations by Stan Zappa. it's very cool but he hasn't written anything since but he did come out with a book of photography about thrift store halloween decorations which I'm going to check out next.

ok - this computer is starting to act crazy. It keeps switching the focus of the window to fucking Pluto!!!! gotta go and read more of my book - talk soon :)

l.a. rain

A wonderful cold and rainy day! I haven't seen it rain like this for years it is soo nice. right now I'm sitting in my cold room with my new christmas lights I bought on discount for 70% off. It's Friday night and I'm really just exhausted from all the inaugural crap. very sad to see Obama leave, but a new chapter must be written and, well, here we go I suppose.

I cleaned out the back bedroom where my 2 daughters were sleeping, they moved into the other room - it's like musical beds all the time. So I took Tuesday off from work and reorganized everything, cleaned and moved stuff around. there are 2 beds in the room, so I leaned upward against the wall thinking it would be temporary so that I could clean under it, but I found it was a great place to hang my new lights. so I'm leaving it up. in the corner, I stacked two plastic storage containers and pulled in an old plastic chair to make a desk, which is where I'm writing now. Overall, I like how the room looks. there still a small pile of crap I'll probably never move but I can kick it over to the corner so good enough. I kinda wished I took a before picture, but trust me when I say it was a disaster. it took me 6 hours to clean. But I really enjoyed it, it was very relaxing and after a while it was very meditative.

Anyway, there is something I love about this room, it's got a really good energy even though this room shares a wall with my neighbor who is either crying or yelling. When we first moved into this place I turned this room into my art studio. I'll see if I can get some pictures of that. now that I have the room back (at least for a little while) I've been able to tap into the energy again and have been editing my latest novel. god this book has been dragging on for 5 years and I'm really excited to finally be working on it again but damn I got to move on to other books. this feels like it's turning into my own Chinese Democracy

listening to Simo Soo right now https://soundcloud.com/simo-soo love this guy! ok, gotta get back to the rain :-)

dancing through the rainbow

another friday night

Pink T.V Stand {poem}

Pink T.V Stand

I am in the back room, drinking cold coffee in the dark. It's 8:30 friday night. and
dancing to synth-pop
over the internet
my arms above me
and I below them

the rain has come
and gone

and there is nothing you can do
to change the flavor of his breath.
we all make light
of what Ronnie
has been
through

we haven't heard from him in a while
he
was last seen at payless shoes
looking for new
running shoes
he left the old pair
in the back of
his van.

Jesse said he was ok,
but it had been a while
since she heard from hom too.

And Josh keeps asking
me down for smoke breaks at work
and I don't smoke
so I just stand next to him watching him
blow the smoke into the wind
thinking it won't get all over me.
it does
I don't mind

He starts a sentence then mumbles
about his
chain smoking
and grabs another Parliment from his
back pocket. his eyebrows raise when he notices
it's his last one

I try to avoid the topic
of his girlfriend's son and ex-husband
but we always end up talking about that.
again his eyebrows arch upward
as he mentions he should really stop
smoking

I joke that I should start smoking
Josh offers me a cigarette, polietiy
I gently
decline
telling him I have an iron lung
"really?" he asks

everything on the street is moving
as fast as it can
pushing and crashing forwards
faster and further into whatever
it is that needs to be crashed into.

I'm there next to Jesse in line at McDonald's
when Ronnie updated his facebook status to
single
She is next in line to order
and crying

I take her hand as we walk up to the counter
and order
for her.

Little Plastic Toys {poem}

Little Plastic Toys

The carnivals from which came have now all
packed up,
leaving behind the tallowed perfume of rv exhaust,
of stale hay in the parking lot behind the hospital.

What has fallen
now lays broken,

without a guardian to
reassemble
the hero-light
to which it spills.

And the rain shall pass
overhead
in a quick blanket
of dark coils

and we hope with the
coming winter
the snow maintains
to the earth
so that we can return in the spring.

I have, without,
remorse gathered the leaves
around her
tightly and caustic.

The harvest has been excused
tonight.
the wet roots lay undistrubed,
the blueprint
unaltered.

The direction of her voice
remains
static
we travel together
unassisted by light.

angel-things
keep the damaged
warm within their
wings.

How do you celebrate
a sacrifice
for which leaves no trace of the
host being
intact. There are no dust puddles
to be written into history.
Nothing but an engnamtic gasp
paused in the infinity
of light.

Never have the animals roamed so freely
never have they been so
hungry.

music I've been listening to

I just discovered 2 new synth pop bands that are amazing. I was listening to the college station out here called KXLU 88.9 and on Part Time Punks the DJ was just about to sign-off when he threw out the name of a French band titled Box and The Twins. I found them on Bandcamp. They play a lot of synth pop and are totally awesome. The other is a band, I think I like more, they have a deeper synth sound and the singer is more smooth they're called Hante. So I've been listening to them a lot. They both remind me of The Cure, which by the way I need to start listening to again - I don't know why I stopped listening to them, well, actually I do - I was getting to the point where I was listening too much to them and didn't want to get sick of them but I think I'm ready for them again. So here's a list of the bands I've been listening to lately, no order:
- Box And The Twins
- Hante
- Marine Girls
- The Fall
- The Knife
- Fever Rey
- Felt
- Trisomie 21
- The Cure
- Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass
- Miles Davis
- John Coltrane
- Jeff Buckley
- Ariel Pink
- Former Ghosts
- Tom Waits
- Robert Goulet
- Chet Baker
- Jon Barba (aka Nicole Kidman)

man, there are sooo many more, but that's what I've been listening too lately. I've got a little side project I'd like to start. It's a noise band but I don't have the right equipment for it...but now that I think about it - maybe I do
I'll keep you posted.

bomb threat at work

nothing really adventurous happening. well actually, I almost forgot - we had a bomb threat at my job yesterday. I was driving into work and noticed traffic was being routed a different way and that the side streets were flooded with cars. so I made my way through a back alley thinking I would avert the traffic but low and behold everyone else saw the empty alley and went down it. so I guess it was first for getting stuck in a traffic jam in alley. I made it out of the alley after 30 minutes and continued to work and saw that the police department had all the major streets and intersections closed off. and in the middle of all the roads was my building. so naturally I try to take another side street to slip passed the horrendous traffic but was stopped by a cop who was having none of my shenanigans. he told me, in no polite way, to get the hell back into traffic immediately, so I did and just headed home to work remotely.

the next day I find out that the reason for the bomb threat was because one of trump's cabinet appointees has an office in our building. hence the bomb threat - nice. anyway this has given me great pause to reflect on just why the hell I continue living in L.A. between the crushing traffic, the insane housing prices, the insane people, the heat, the taxes and the 40 minute wait at In-n-Out burger drive-thru! there is very little reason to be here, albeit those reasons are as big as they could be but I really need to get the hell out of here.

anyway on to happier news: it has been raining a lot in L.A, which is really good. I love the rain and wish it would rain every day. work is going good and I finally caught that crazy-ass rat in my kitchen the other night. man, those things are smart and strong. as I write this I'm hearing a tiny mouse nibbling on something in the corner of my room...this is actually becoming an issue. like I can honestly say I live in a rat infested apartment. wwweeee!!!

I want to talk about my dishes

I bought new dishes 6 months ago because I was using paper plates and plastic forks. I felt, being an adult, I should step up my game and so I bought a box with all the dishes.

They're all gone now. I don't know where they've gone to, but when I look in the cabinet to where I used to have them they are not there. I feel like they should be somewhere close like in the sink or in another cabinet, but they are not. I do not know where they are. It was gradual, like first the cups started going somewhere else, then the bowls.

But I'll be damned if I go back to buying paper plates and plastic forks again. The cashiers at the supermarket know something is up when they look at me. And they look at you like only a supermarket cashier can look at you. They make me feel a little bit insignificant about my existence on this planet. That look that says "oh goodie, another goddamn picnic".

So I won't be buying paper plates and plastic forks anymore; I'll just use my face.

2017

Oh yeah, it's 2017 and, I guess, I'm supposed to share my "goals" for the next 12 months. Well, ok, here they are:

1) I don't
2) know and
3) I don't
4) care
5) ;)